Two Lovers

Two Lovers (2009) starring Joaquin Phoenix, Gwyneth Paltrow, Vinessa Shaw. Bipolar schmuck named Leonard (Phoenix) lives with his parents, carries on doomed relationships with two women at the same time. Michelle (Paltrow) is a troubled woman who is dating a married man. Sandra (Shaw) is the sensible choice, the daughter of Leonard's father's business associate, and a lovely young woman. Naturally, Leonard makes plans to run away with Michelle to San Francisco. The movie is anything but boring, and manages to maintain suspense up until the closing scene. I liked it. (English subtitles are not offered, but closed captions save the day.) Grade: B+  

The Two of Us

The Two of Us (1968) starring Michel Simon, Alain Cohen, Luce Fabiole. During World War II in France, a young Jewish boy (Cohen) is sent to live in the country with an older couple. His parents instruct him to pretend to be Catholic, and he calls the older couple Grandpa and Grandma. The twist is that Grandpa (Simon) is an anti-Semite and tells the young boy all kinds of rubbish about Jews. The boy takes it in good  spirit, though, and forms a close and loving relationship with "Grandpa." The movie is based on the director's real-life boyhood during WWII, and that gives the film all the more poignancy. I liked it. (In French, with English subtitles.) Grade: A-   

2 Days in the Valley

2 Days in the Valley (1996) starring Danny Aiello, James Spader, Eric Stoltz, Greg Cruttwell, Jeff Daniels, Terry Hatcher, Charlize Theron. Tangled crime comedy throws together a variety of lesser-known actors who would later become famous. The cops are incompetent and the crooks are incompetent, so it all makes for a dark comedy of errors, with lots of blood. For a low-budget movie, it's surprisingly entertaining. (Subtitles in English are offered on the disc, as well as closed captions.)Grade: B+

The Avengers

The Avengers (2012) starring a large ensemble cast including Robert Downey Jr., Samuel L. Jackson, Chris Evans, Mark Ruffalo, Chris Hemsworth, Scarlett Johansson, Jeremy Renner, Cobie Smulders.  Loki and his evil army are invading Earth, and it's up to the Avengers to save it. Included in the mix are Iron Man, Captain America, the Hawk, Black Widow, the Incredible Hulk, and Thor, who all team up (eventually) to fight. It's a hyperkinetic movie, with nearly non-stop action and lots and lots of special effects. It would best be seen on a big screen in a theater, with theater-quality sound and preferably in 3D. On my little 22-inch TV it sometimes seemed like there was just too much going on. Still, it's a pretty cool movie, especially if you like superheroes. (Subtitles for the hearing-impaired are available, as well as closed captions.) Grade: B+  

Two Mules for Sister Sara

Two Mules for Sister Sara (1970) starring Clint Eastwood, Shirley MacLaine. In Mexico after the American Civil War, a gunman (Eastwood) meets up with a nun (MacLaine). They end up traveling together and helping the Mexican patriots to fight the French would-be colonizers. The movie is mildly amusing and features a lot of stunts that Eastwood made famous in the spaghetti Westerns. It's interesting to see MacLaine and Eastwood together on screen, but otherwise this film has little to recommend it. The DVD does feature subtitles for the hearing-impaired. Grade: B  

Hysteria

Hysteria (2011) starring Hugh Dancy, Maggie Gyllenhaal. Basically, this is a movie about the invention of the vibrator. In the 1880s in England, a doctor (Dancy) takes a job as a "women's doctor" which involves treating women for "hysteria" by manually stimulating them to orgasm. He finds the job hard on his hand, and with the help of his roommate, comes up with an electrical device for stimulating the clitoris (though that word is never mentioned in the film). The movie works surprisingly well, though it is by no means a great work of art. It does make for an entertaining evening at the movies. (With subtitles and closed captions). Grade: B+  

Two for the Road

Two for the Road (1967) starring Audrey Hepburn, Albert Finney. Hepburn and Finney play a married couple who are taking a road trip through Europe as part of the process of deciding whether they want to stay married or not. The movie jumps back and forth in time, showing their relationship in different stages, both before and after their marriage, and after the birth of their daughter. In every case, they are on a road trip -- hitchhiking when they are young and poor, driving various vehicles when they are older and better off. It's a pretty entertaining film, although I didn't find the chemistry between the two stars very convincing. Hepburn was almost 40 when the movie was made, and can't really pass as much younger. Finney was several years younger, and looks it. As films go, it's not a bad way to pass an evening. The European flavor of the locales appealed to me. (Subtitles in English are available, as are closed captions.) Grade: B

Titanic

Titanic (1997) starring Leonardo DiCaprio, Kate Winslet, Billy Zane, Frances Fisher, Kathy Bates. Directed by James Cameron. Jack and Rose (DiCaprio and Winslet), though they come from different strata of society, fall in love as they travel across the Atlantic on the doomed passenger ship Titanic. Rose's mother (Fisher) and fiance (Zane) do not approve, to put it mildly. We see the story in flashback as Rose, who still lives at the time the movie is made, hears about explorers who have found the sunken ship and contacts them. The film is a romantic, epic disaster movie with fine acting and great special effects. It won 11 Academy Awards, including Best Picture and Best Director. Although, at over three hours, it's a little long for my tastes, I enjoyed it immensely. (The DVD features English subtitles as well as closed captions.) Grade: A

Two-Family House

Two-Family House (2000). A loser buys a house in the hopes of turning it into a residence upstairs and a bar downstairs. But this DVD is not indexed. This means that every time you stop the movie to take a break for any reason, the movie starts over again from the beginning when you press Play again. This makes the movie unwatchable. Grade: F

Total Recall

Total Recall (1990) starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Rachel Ticotin, Sharon Stone, Ronny Cox, Michael Ironside. Directed by Paul Verhoeven. Sci-fi film set in the distant future has Schwarzenegger playing Douglas Quaid, a construction worker who feels he is meant for bigger things. When he goes to Rekall, a company that specializes in memory implants, he discovers that his memory has already been tampered with and sets out to find out why. The search for his past ends with him journeying to Mars, where he encounters strange happenings. My main impressions of this film are that the sets looked flimsy, the special effects look cheesy, and that Schwarzenegger can't act. Also, this is an ultraviolent movie, with constant hand-to-hand combat and shootouts, accompanied by lots of blood. Did I enjoy it? Yes, but I'm a sci-fi nut and an irrational fan of Ahnuld. I saw the film back in 1990, when it came out, and I had the same objections then as I have now. (English subtitles are available, as are closed captions.) Grade: B-

The Deep Blue Sea

The Deep Blue Sea (2011) starring Rachel Weisz, Tom Hiddleston, Simon Russell Beale. Hester (Weisz), married to the somewhat older William (Beale), falls in love with a younger man (Hiddleston). But Freddie, the younger man, doesn't love Hester the way that she loves him. Hester has left a stable marriage for an abusive relationship, all in the name of love. The story is set around 1950 in London, so the mores of the time do not take kindly to behavior such as she has indulged in. Plus, the movie takes place in the wake of World War II, and there is the consideration that Freddie fought the Krauts as an RAF pilot -- a fact which he does not hesitate to throw in Hester's face when he wants to make a point in an argument. The way the movie plays it, Freddie is a real prick. In the Extras, the actors make a case for Hester as a real radical, for the times. I can't say that this film didn't have an impact, it did. But if you're looking for a romance with a happy ending, you should look elsewhere; this one is a real downer. The title comes from Hester's insight that she is caught between the Devil and the deep blue sea. (English subtitles are provided, but not closed captions.) Grade: A-

How Green Was My Valley

How Green Was My Valley (1941) starring Walter Pidgeon, Maureen O'Hara, Donald Crisp, Anna Lee, Roddy McDowall. Directed by John Ford. The trials and tribulations of a Welsh coal-mining family form the spine of the plot in this movie made as World War II was breaking out. The story is told in backflash fashion, as an older version of McDowall makes preparations to leave the valley -- a beginning to the story that is never followed through in the end. The title refers to the fact that the valley was green and unspoiled at the beginning of the narrator's life, but became choked with black coal sludge by the time of his leaving, 50 years later. This film won five Oscars, including Best Picture and Best Director. It's been hailed as a great movie, but I don't think it holds up all that well after all this time. It's certainly a very good film, but "great" may be stretching it. The movie has been beautifully restored. (English subtitles are available, as well as closed captions.) Grade: B+

20,000 Leagues Under the Sea

20,000 Leagues Under the Sea (1954) starring Kirk Douglas, James Mason, Paul Lukas, Peter Lorre. In 1860s, giant "sea monster" which preys on shipping is discovered to be an atomic-powered submarine under the command of megalomaniacal Captain Nemo (Mason). Seaman Ned Land (Douglas) ends up a prisoner on board the submarine and bears witness to Nemo's crazed reasoning. The movie Disney-fies the Jules Verne novel, and while it did a good job of bringing it to screen for 1954, it now seems quite dated. (The subtitles provided on the disc are quite adequate, and closed captions are available as an option.) Grade: B

Twist and Shout

Twist and Shout (1984) starring Adam Tonsberg, Lars Simonsen. Two high school friends in Denmark, Bjorn (Tonsberg) and Erik (Simonsen), go through the era of Beatlemania together. Erik is in love with Kirsten, who loves Bjorn, who loves Anna. Erik must deal with his psychotic parents, while Bjorn must deal with Kirsten after he loses Anna. Contrary to what I hoped, the movie has very little to do with the Beatles music. The music is used to set the scene (1963), and that's about it. The drama is still good, but doesn't scale the heights one might wish. It doesn't really have a "happy" ending, but the ending could perhaps be described as appropriate. The film is in Danish, with available English subtitles. Grade: B+

20 Million Miles to Earth

20 Million Miles to Earth (1957) starring William Hopper, Joan Taylor. Creature feature in which space ship returns from Venus, crashes in the Mediterranean. Aboard the ship only one man lives -- and a creature from Venus that the explorers have brought back to Earth. The creature hatches and grows into a reptilian beast that rampages through the streets of Rome. The special effects are courtesy of legendary FX wizard Ray Harryhausen; highlights include a fight between the creature and an elephant, and the finale at the Roman Colisseum. The script and the acting are definitely of poor quality. The DVD offers a choice of watching the movie in black-and-white or in the colorized version, which I thought was a plus. The English subtitles are very legible, as are the closed captions. Grade: C+

12 Angry Men

12 Angry Men (1957) starring Henry Fonda and a galaxy of character actors. Directed by Sidney Lumet. It's hard to believe that a movie about twelve men shut up in a room together to deliberate a jury verdict could make a compelling film, but in this case it works. A clever script keeps things moving, and strong acting and vivid characters make this a very watchable movie. Fonda plays the lone dissenting juror in the murder trial of a young man, a trial which, if a guilty verdict is reached, will end in the execution of the suspect. All twelve men aren't really angry -- there are just a few hotheads in the room. But there is enough drama in that room to keep any viewer interested. (Subtitles are not available, but closed captions save the day.) Grade: A-

Tunes of Glory

Tunes of Glory (1960) starring Alec Guinness, John Mills, Susannah York. The popular colonel commanding a Scottish peacetime regiment (Guinness) is replaced by another colonel who is a stickler for detail and discipline (Mills). The new colonel tries to whip the regiment into shape, but is stymied by the men's resistance. The plot becomes complicated when the old Colonel, Guinness, strikes an enlisted man he finds with his daughter (York). This movie marked York's first appearance on-screen. (The film has English subtitles and closed captions, and they are very much needed, as the actors talk with a strong Scottish brogue and use many colloquialisms.) Grade: B