Moonlight and Valentino (DVD)

Moonlight and Valentino (1995) starring Elizabeth Perkins, Whoopi Goldberg, Gwyneth Paltrow, Kathleen Turner. College professor Rebecca Lott (Perkins) loses her husband in a car accident. Characters played by Goldberg, Paltrow and Turner form her support group in her grief. But that's all academic, because this disc lacks subtitles for the hearing-impaired. Grade: F

Monsieur Hire (DVD)

Monsieur Hire (1989) starring Michel Blanc, Sandrine Bonnaire. French thriller in which a reclusive, middle-aged bachelor (Blanc) spies on his attractive young neighbor, Alice (Bonnaire) through her undraped windows. Meanwhile, a murder has been committed in the area and Monsieur Hire is a suspect. There are two mysteries: Who committed the murder, and why is Alice so friendly to Monsieur Hire? This is a very watchable movie that doesn't really have any slow patches. Good subtitles. Grade: A-

Monkey Business (DVD)

Monkey Business (1952) starring Cary Grant, Ginger Rogers, Charles Coburn, Marilyn Monroe. Directed by Howard Hawks. Grant plays an absent-minded scientist named Barnaby who, while experimenting on chimpanzees, accidentally discovers a rejuvenating formula. Rogers plays Edwina, his adoring wife. After the formula gets dumped into the bottled water, both end up regressing at the same time, creating chaos in the boardroom at the company where Barnaby works. Typical '50s fare features clever writing, some funny lines and situations. The subtitles are the good kind -- yellow to stand out against the black-and-white film. Grade: B

Monkey Business (DVD)

Monkey Business (1931) starring Groucho, Chico, Harpo and Zeppo Marx. The four brothers stow away on an ocean liner. Constantly pursued by the crew, they interact in typically wacky fashion with the passengers they run into -- and with each other. Groucho flirts with a gangster's wife, Chico plays the piano, Harpo creates chaos wherever he goes, and Zeppo gets the girl -- in other words, it's a Marx Brothers movie. Grade: B+

Objectified (DVD)

Objectified (2009), documentary. This movie takes a look at how manufactured objects affect our lives, how they are designed and the thought processes that go into conceiving and making them. Unfortunately, what sounds like an interesting idea for a film ends up being largely a lot of talking heads telling us how they feel about design. It's not nearly as interesting as the concept sounds. Grade: B-

L'aventure C'est L'aventure (DVD)

L'aventure C'est L'aventure (1972) starring an all-French cast. A gang of five criminals decide that political crimes will be more profitable in the "current" climate, circa 1972. It's supposed to be a crime caper comedy, I think, but for me something has been lost in the translation. Strictly for Francophiles. Grade: C+

Mona Lisa (DVD)

Mona Lisa (1986) starring Bob Hoskins, Cathy Tyson, Michael Caine, Robbie Coltraine. Directed by Neil Jordan. Hoskins plays a small-time hood named George who is given the job of driver for a high-priced call girl (Tyson); but his time in prison has left him out of touch with the outside world, and he's naive about the depths of depravity that have been reached by his former chums (including Caine). It's definitely adult entertainment. The various English accents, especially Hoskins', are hard to understand -- which makes the subtitles for the hearing-impaired indispensable. Grade: B+

Traffik (DVD)

Traffik (1989) starring a cast of unknowns. Dramatic British miniseries which follows the heroin trade from the slums of Karachi, Pakistan to the halls of British Parliament. Served as the inspiration for Steven Soderbergh's Oscar-winning film, "Traffic." Not bad, but not really worth reviewing, either.

Modern Times (DVD)

Modern Times (1936) starring Charlie Chaplin, Paulette Goddard. The Little Tramp takes on a factory job in this classic, semi-silent comedy. After a nervous breakdown, he is told to take it easy and get some rest, but that proves difficult for the scamp. He soon ends up in jail, which he rather enjoys. Meanwhile, there is unrest among the numerous unemployed. Goddard plays a "gamin," and she and the Little Tramp team up soon after meeting. The film becomes somewhat episodic after that, but it's still worth seeing, and the laughs are numerous. Grade: B+

Drag Me to Hell (DVD)

Drag Me to Hell (2009) starring Alison Lohman, Justin Long, Dileep Rao, David Paymer. Directed by Sam Raimi. After denying a loan extension to an old woman, loan officer Christine Brown (Lohman) comes to believe she is under a Gypsy's curse. The viewer of this movie will believe it too, as Christine is yanked into the air, thrown against the wall, and has various bodily fluids spurt out of her or be vomited onto her. She also loses the big promotion she was after, which was the reason she turned down the loan extension in the first place. After she turns to a psychic (Rao) for help, the film takes a supernatural turn, then a ghoulish turn. For horror fans, it has a fittingly horrific ending. The subtitles are good enough. Grade: B

Moby Dick (DVD)

Moby Dick (1956) starring Gregory Peck, Richard Basehart, Leo Genn. Directed by John Huston. Peck stars as Captain Ahab, the one-legged whale hunter who seeks revenge on the great white whale which obsesses him. The whale-hunting scenes are terrible to behold, with the wanton slaughter of these great mammals which is portrayed. Worse, though, this disc lacks captions for the hearing-impaired. Grade: F

Gandhi (DVD)

Gandhi (1982) starring Ben Kingsley, Candice Bergen, Edward Fox, John Gielgud, Trevor Howard, John Mills, Martin Sheen. Sweeping epic of Mahatma Gandhi, who rose from obscure beginnings to free his nation of India from British rule. A moving and inspiring lesson in the power of non-violence and civil disobedience. Winner of eight Oscars, including Best Picture, Actor, Director, Screenplay. Kingsley is remarkable in the title role. Biggest flaw is extreme length, a bladder-buster at over three hours. Fortunately, the DVD can be stopped for bathroom and kitchen breaks. The second half drags a bit. Superb subtitles. Grade: A-

The Bridge on the River Kwai (DVD)

The Bridge on the River Kwai (1957) starring William Holden, Alec Guinness, Jack Hawkins. Directed by David Lean. In 1943 in a Japanese prisoner of war camp, a British colonel named Nicholson (Guinness) finds himself locked in a war of wills with the commandant of the camp. The British POWs have been commanded to build a railroad bridge, and -- after winning the initial skirmish with the Japanese commandant -- Colonel Nicholson decides that that is just what they will do. Meanwhile, an American POW (Holden) escapes and is reluctantly recruited by British commandos to go back on a mission to destroy the bridge. The movie won seven Academy Awards, including Best Picture and Best Director. Main flaw is extreme length of almost three hours. The subtitles on the disc are good. Grade: A-

Beauty in Trouble (DVD)

Beauty in Trouble (2006) starring Ana Geislerova, Roman Luknar, Josef Abrham. An attractive young woman named Marcela lives in the Czech Republic and faces a difficult choice: Stay true to her husband (Luknar), who is in jail for car theft, or take a chance on a wealthy man (Abrham) who promises her a comfortable life, but one without passion. While she is deciding, she and her two young children are living with her mother and Marcela's creepy brother, who does everything he can to make their life miserable. Strangely enough, although the picture is in Czech with English subtitles, some of the songs on the soundtrack are in English. The subtitles are adequate, but I sense something has been lost in the translation from Czech to English. Grade: B

Mister Roberts (DVD)

Mister Roberts (1955) starring Henry Fonda, James Cagney, Jack Lemmon, William Powell. Fonda plays the title character, an officer stationed aboard a cargo ship stuck in the backwaters of World War II near the end of the war. He longs for the action of battle, but his tyrannical captain (Cagney) won't grant him a transfer. Lemmon won an Oscar for his performance as the irrepressible Ensign Pulver. Not surprisingly for a film made in 1955, this one shows its age -- but it still makes for an enjoyable evening of entertainment. The movie was enough of a hit that it was lampooned in Mad Magazine. The captions are adequate. Grade: B+

Frownland (DVD)

Frownland (Don't know) starring Who Cares. Unwatchable crap. Grade: F-

The Girlfriend Experience (DVD)

The Girlfriend Experience (2009) starring Sasha Grey. This is a low-budget film edited in a non-linear fashion using non-professional actors. It has no subtitles for the hearing-impaired, so I found it largely incomprehensible. Grade: F